No longer angelic...

So just over fifteen weeks after breaking my neck, the sheepskin vest, the scaffolding and the Halo have now been removed and I am now wearing a hard collar for the next four weeks.

It didn't come off without a fight.  The scaffolding came off OK, the straps holding the vest together took a bit of work to undo by the nurse.  After a few X-ray checks, the Halo pins were unscrewed and the Halo literally yanked off!  It was very painful but at least it was brief.  The pins themselves looked quite scary.  Think of a headless bolt with the other end shaped into a sharp spike!  I was told that these Halo vest cost about £3000 and they are thrown away after just the one use as they cannot be recycled!  Little wonder healthcare costs so much.  Thank goodness for the NHS.

So I am now sporting two red, scabbed patches on my forehead.  I look like a cheap version of Hellboy.  At least now I am much cooler when it's warm, I can wear normal sized clothing and t-shirts and I can get in and out of the car without assistance.

The head still hurts and I have been up and down with regards to energy levels and moods this week.  Much the same as I've had over the past two weeks.  However, I now know this is the next step back to life.  Normality.  I think my time in the Halo had more than run it's course and I really needed another assured movement in the recovery to get my mojo back.  So although I've dropped into bit of a dip at the moment, the future can only be bright.

Had to visit the hospital again today.  Twice in a week!  This time my dad was having his bi-annual checkup.  All was OK but I found it very strange being there as a visitor rather than a patient.  Maybe now I have more mobility and have a better view around my environs, the hospital is no longer just a collection of corridors, double doors and waiting rooms.  I didn't realise there was a flower shop on site and one corridor was lined with aerial photographs of the hospital's development since the Second World War!

After the checkup, my mother needed to change a few items in M&S.  My dad left her to it in womenswear and ushered me upstairs to have a wander around the menswear section.  He was after some thick winter shirts but found nothing suitable.  So we just hung around.  It was so boring.  Brown, tan, grey, black, suits, shirts, trousers, shoes.  No colour, no wow, nothing tempting me to buy, buy, buy, no pretty stuff.  I found the cookware section eminently more exciting!

Yet my T-factor is still low.  I still have an interest.  I still appreciate ladies' fashions.  I still have a need to go for a night out when I'm over this malady.  I just find I'm reflecting on my times out as Tanya in a negative way.  As if it's all just a strange, weird dream.  I wonder why I need to dress-up, paint my face and slide into some heels (Yeah right!  More like wrangle my feet into them!) to have a good time out.  I reflect that I'm hiding behind a disguise, then argue against that statement by knowing I am still me, just glammed up.  I present in a different guise but I do not change personality or hide who I am.  I find it exciting and good fun at the time.  Think I need to be patient and wait until normality and independence returns to my life.

In other news, my mother has taken a shine to an iPad, so we may be visiting Bristol next week to purchase one.  As it's Fashion Week there, I may be taking a shine to other pretty items…